Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Spouse

Well, he knew it was bound to happen,  I will rip the band-aid off quickly.  So let me tell you a little bit about my husband.  He is a successful, brilliant businessman.  His official job is working on computers and setting up networks.  I like to think of him as a magician.  He gets calls all hours of the day and night to repair issues that no one else can fix.   Poof- nothing up my sleeve... and a rabbit appears out of his hat.  The issue is resolved.  He has earned respect from those that call him and need his help.  It is impressive if I say so myself.
The husband is tall- really tall- at least a foot taller than me, and it is safe to say he has never met a pan of brownies he didn't like.  He is a big guy.  Which brings me to a little story I feel the need to share....
Over the summer I had the urge to purchase a pair of hair clippers... Now mind you, we do not have any furry animals unless you count Homeless Flo ( stray cat- I felt sorry for and fed... now she stalks us)- Flo has no need for hair clippers... Well, the entire Family was over here and what do we do?  Pull out the clippers and proceed to open up our own salon*** redneck much?***  So Walker got his ears lowered,  I broke down all defenses and let the husband use the clippers on my "wedge" and then I turned on him and got him good!  It actually turned out pretty nice,  a sensible, short cut for the summer.  The next week he headed downtown to a client.  Someone made the comment he looked like an action figure... as he shared this story with me, I could tell he felt some sort of little boy pride.. what kid didn't want to be an action figure... He had his chest puffed out and I know I should have responded something like this... " who honey, the Incredible Hulk?"  but true to form ... I said this " who- Jabba the Hut".... ahem.. he found zero humor in my wit - I thought it was freakin' genius.  So I go back to the original point.. the husband is a big guy.
The husband is also the hairiest person I have ever met, but I have adapted over the years.  I no longer bring bar soap into the house due to the chia pet factor- we only use bodywash.  He has a full beard, so every so often- he turns caveman and feels the need to leave me what appears to be some sort of animal carcass in the sink when he shaves.. ( I know, quit swooning ladies)...
One last fact about the husband is he can tickle the ivories as good as the piano man at Pat O'Brien's in New Orleans.  I find this HOT... ( note to self:  it will be interesting to see what he does with this tidbit of information now that it has been leaked)  ** BLUSHING**
So lets review-
1. Freaky Smart
2. Magician
3. Likes brownies
4. NO Jabba jokes
5. Hairy
6. Plays piano
There you have it in a nutshell, my husband, the father of my children.. What is not to love? :)


  1. Jenn, You crack me up and I would love to meet the man of your dreams :)

    Denise Cutts

  2. Denise, I am working on my last will and testament... for after this one.. I am pretty much deader than a hammer... poor guy! Glad you like it... my household is a comic strip...I had the need to share!

  3. Jennifer, I would put my hairy husband up against any other hairy man, except maybe a werewolf! Jim wasn't called "Ape" in high school for nothin! Jane