Wednesday, September 22, 2010

As Seen On TV

Now you know how they say there is a sucker born every minute... well, what are the odds.. four of them live in this house.   Chilling... isn't it?   Ah Yes.. today's topic " Infomercials".   Before we begin, I want to give you a run down of what we own or have tried:
The Ped Egg - its ok.. but emptying this sucker will make your stomach do flips.. ugh
The Magic Bullet-Has a few redeeming qualities- makes some "so good - smack your granny" chicken salad.
The Bump IT- What the hell?
Smooth Away- Sandpaper... should have known
Nutrisystem - STEP AWAY FROM THE CARDBOARD- going hungry is better than this.
Nads Hair Removal System-  Doesn't hurt when you rip the hair out from the root- I BELIEVED IT! (smuck)
Thigh Master- Suzanne Somers... You owe me 20 bucks.
Richard Simmons VHS Disco style-  AH Freak Out!  If we still owned a VHS- I would pop this sucker in and record it for this post... but, as luck would have it.. we have upgraded our technology.  (shoot! - that could have been fun)
Acia miracle pills- oh good lord... Cade about strung me up over this one and its continuous monthly billing.
Now, as I go back and glance over the items that I remember, I am sure this is not an all inclusive list, it occured to me... at first blush, we appear to be some fat, hairy people with bad feet.  Oh well, it is what it is.
My second list is what I like to call "Honorable Mention"... because we have mentioned the products on more than one occasion:
Sham Wow- just's all I got..
The Plant Roll Out Garden Thing- Mackenzie was in huge favor of this one- she is so practical and thoughtful she hated the thought of me digging individual holes to put flowers in.. this was her solution.
The Bowflex- got the dvd
The Bowflex Treadmill- ahem... also have this dvd
The Touch & Brush- this is how I found out that ALL of us are indeed suckers- Walker saw it and has asked for it atleast a half a dozen times...
The Hanger Cascader - it makes more room in the closet... works for me!

 We have all watched the miracles unfold before us - it is a form of brainwashing.. you have to watch in amazement as the product works like nothing you have ever seen... Seeing is Believing, right?  In a pig's eye.
At one point, infomercials targeted insomniacs .. not any more... they come on when you least expect it.  Touch and Brush.. oh yea... cartoon network.... Brainwashing at its finest.  Target the little people.
Now, if you get sucked into a product and your bank account is low... you can do two easy installments of 19.99$  ** they thought of everything**  AND if you are really lucky- you can get a second one for FREE, if you call in the next 30 minutes - just pay shipping and handling.. which is inflated to cover the cost of four.... How do I know this?... I am an idiot, that is all you need to know.
So what are we to think of this As Seen On TV phenomenon?  Easy answer... DON'T think of it- turn the channel or walk away... Just sayin'


  1. Jenn, Walk away from the T.V. haha

  2. We can't be the only losers that fall into this trap? SO what do you have? A George Foreman?