Ok- I am not sure if it is JUST my lovely family or if this is an epidemic sweeping America. I can't be positive that there isn't a medical condition linked to my "half-assitus" others that reside in our humble abode. What is so serious, you ask? Well, I'll tell ya...They can not seem to locate or use the laundry hamper. So after spending an hour in the "laundry room" and cussing to myself over the mess that keeps piling up, I made a decision. I will take the time to make formal introductions. I feel, ( sighs loudly) if I do this one at a time rather than in a herd, I have a better chance of success. I will have all their undivided attention in this matter so we can discuss their fears and what is causing the need to be nasty.
Me- I need to talk to you, come down here.
Kenz- OK- Just a minute ( me thinking- what could be so important that she would tell me just a minute- I am the Empress... granted the Empress that is SICK of stepping on Nasty underwear, left in the bathroom after baths.. but I am still the Empress no less)
Me- NOW Kenzie
Kenz- ok- ok- ok... clunks down the steps ( I can't be sure but she could have been imitating an elephant- it was so loud)
Me- Now follow me- Mackenzie, I would like to introduce you to a modern marvel. Most call it the Laundry hamper- we will refer to it as the "mommy magic hamper box". Once you place your clothes in there... MAGIC will happen. It could take a day or two... but the magic is no less impressive. The clothes will "hop" out of there into the machines and become April fresh for the next wearing. ( I open my eyes wide to show how amazing this is- for effect). IF- YOU CHOSE NOT TO USE THE MAGIC BOX- your clothes will then end up in the floor of YOUR room- so you can step on Nasty underwear. ( shew- HARSH)
Kenz- stares at me blankly- "so basically, you want me to put the dirty stuff in the hamper after I take a bath or you will throw them in my room?"
Kenz- Ok and walks off
Me-Walker, Do you think you can put your dirty clothes in the "magic hamper box" after you take a bath?
Walker- YES- ( mmmm that was easy)
I feel satisfied with this effort so far... but I have YET to tame the real beast... He is rebellious by nature. HE will suck every ounce of energy I have in trying to implement the (old) now new again rule. Do I have it in me today to fight this gnarly beast... NOPE- I sure don't. SO I will just have to do the following (on the sly of course)...
The man cave is GROSS... I have had to make sure our children are up to date on all their shots before they can venture down there.... SO.... because it is an abomination... he will NEVER notice that the dirty clothes keep ending up on his floor. I will allow him to think his manly ways have backfired on him. He will in turn, bring the clothes up... I will toss them back down. SOONER or LATER he will figure out the "magic hamper box" on his own.... oh yea- I got his number and I know how to WORK the system. IF he thinks it is "his idea"... he will abide by the rule. Happy Washing All!