Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Breaking The Law...Yes, Again!

So the whole Columbus, extended weekend, fall break whatever you want to call it could NOT have come at a worse time.  I have felt bad for about 4 days.  I know it is just a cold... you know the type, one side of your nose stopped up- the other a clear water stream.  IT brings along its friends, low grade fever and headache.  As most of you know, moms, do not get to be sick.  We can not lay up on the couch or curl up in a chair for any length of time.  It is Impossible.  So being the martyrs that we are we push forward to take care of our homes and children.
When I woke up this morning, I decided I have dedicated the last two days to ensure my kids were entertained and happy.  We went to Build-A-Nightmare, and yesterday I allowed them to add a new feature called "sticky" to my entire kitchen... TODAY, is a new day... ( mysterious music inserted here)... Today, they are going to become shiftshapers and morph into my minions... they are going to CLEAN.  YES- I know, it is a brave, new concept.     One I have tinkered with a few times in the past, but never put into full implementation mode.  Now, some of you may not know, that in my past life.. when I was a well groomed professional that actually had a vocabulary outside of " NO, I Said So, Get down from there, I am going to count too three, and the most important one of all- Mommy Loves you So Much" I was a project manager for a large financial institution.  ( close your mouth, didn't your mom tell you bugs will fly in there- plus it is rude)  There is no need to be shocked.  I was actually pretty good at my job- so it is time to put those rusty skills into action.  The playground is closed, we have to clean up the wreckage that Columbus left in our humble abode.  Down to business..
The plan-
Mackenzie is older but she suffers from "half-assitus" ( yes, another word I coined because I saw the necessity for it)-  I will start her off slowly and then place the larger work tools in her possession.  Lysol wipes are great... they will ease her into the "sanitary mode" and a monkey could use them and get it right.  If all goes well, and I can promise you it WILL... we will move onto taking dirty sheets off the bed and **replacing them with clean ones**... It's a stretch- but I am in PM mode.  I will let the journey dictate our next goals.
Now Walker is game for anything.. he is the perfect little minion- the problem is, he can't see the counter tops, reach the sinks and the mop can over power him.  I will put him on "toys" go in my bins duty... then promote him to lower window duty.
Yes, Child Labor is against the law.  I get it... but so is running a person into the ground and expecting them to keep smiling like a moron or if its not, it should be.  So for all the mommies out there, I am righting a few wrongs.  I am getting a little help around here today... I am demanding a little slice of justice for all the "clean" clothes that were put in the dirty clothes hamper because the "half-assitus" afflicted ones  didn't want to hang it back up!
Pass judgement if you must... but at some point in our mommy lives we have to realize the visions of rainbows, fairies and alcohol that tastes good, are just that -VISIONS!  ( rolls eyes)

1 comment:

  1. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Children learning how to do chores. It’s called upkeep! My father had us boys washing and drying dishes when we were tall enough to reach the sink with the aid of a stool. It teaches work ethic and independence after all you don’t want them to leave someday and then show back up. My favorite on my old man dealing with this subject was my eighteenth birthday. He gave me 40 dollars which was big money. As I took it and started moving it toward my pocket he reached and pulled 20 back. I gave him a look like why and he said that is this month’s rent! I got the message loud and clear.