Oh Lawd...

You see that?  Yep, it's a small, red, velvet bow that belongs on the tip of the family Christmas tree.  Seems innocent enough, don't ya think?  UNLESS IT MAKES ITS WAY INTO THE MAGIC BOX WITH THE DIRTY LAUNDRY....(breathing hard) AND GETS WASHED...(heart palpitations)..AND TURNS EVERYTHING PINK!  Lawd have mercy-
 So I asked my children if they knew how something like this could happen and do you know what they said?   ahem....(shocker here- brace yourself) They blamed my two "invisible" children "I don't know" and "not me"... When I looked over my glasses at the oldest one (my perturbed look), she said "It could be Elvis the Elf".... well sure, what was I thinking?.. it was the magic ELF that does not arrive until December 1st.  Let's go ahead and blame him... *** not her smartest move if you ask me since he is a direct pipeline to the ol' Jolly one***  (rolls eyes)
So, in conclusion.. I have no answers, I am irritated at my (clears throat) ELF, and the husband has a  drawer full of pink underwear.  Bad ELF!