Thursday, November 4, 2010

Leaping Lizards Batman!!!

I know it is just Thursday but it feels like someone snuck in an extra day or two this week.  I really don't have anything exciting to report.  It is chilly outside.. that is a new feature.  Mackenzie lost her TV privileges and Walker has started picking up his toys in the evening without being asked (shocked beyond words). Oh Yea... I caught a lizard.
Here is the lizard story:
A day or two ago, Walker and I headed to the Living Room at 3:00 to wait on the school bus.  Every single day, you can set your watch to our "play date".  This one is GUARANTEED to happen no matter what else is going on in our lives.  We play a combination of transformers and toy story.  Most of the time we play with them together.  They are our little toy family.  Optimus Prime is the daddy, Woody is the mom ( not sure how that happened but Walker makes the rules in this game), Bumble Bee is the teenage son, Buzz is the little boy, and soft Buzz (or bedtime Buzz, as I call him) is Mackenzie.  We act out dinner time, the big kids getting on the bus, pretend they are going to Publix, and I sit back in amusement as Walker asserts his authority repeating things he has been told time and time again to correct his toy children. Well, that is our NORMAL play date I just described.  Tuesday afternoon, for the first time since school has started... our play date was interrupted and NOT in a good way.
Stay with me if you will:
We were pulling out our toys and I happened to glance at the window.  I saw a lizard.  Now, at first I thought it was outside.... but after further investigation... I soon realized that sucker was actually in the house.  UH OH!  OK- I am a profession lizard catcher during the summer months, when we are outside.  When it doesn't matter if it gets away.  When I have a net and cage to put them in.  It is different.  It is a lot different.  When the lizard is outside there is no way it can make its way to our bed, in the middle of the night and start doing whatever lizards do when I am asleep.   ( Your catching on -  I am pleased that you are feeling my sense of urgency during this dilemma-Good to know I am not the only one that doesn't want a lizard popping by in the middle of the night... mmmhmmm) Back to the story-My mind was running in a million different directions, when Walker spotted the "Yizard"..  It was Christmas morning for the young tot.  Thinking to myself, I decided I needed a few tools before I jumped in to capture the monstrous beast.  I trotted to the kitchen and pulled out my fancy smancy dish gloves- perfect!  Ok, I needed a cage or atleast a bowl.  I rummaged through the drawers like a drug feign in search of her next high.  NO TOPS FIT THE FREAKIN' BOTTOMS!!!  Why does this happen?  Walker screams from the living room... "MOMMY, THE YIZARD IS MOVING!"... ok- I really needed a bowl.  I finally located a matching set and tore off to the other room to save my young or attempt to hand over the newly anticipated toy.  I stopped again before I made it into the other room, It needed air holes.  I headed back to the kitchen and popped a couple holes in my bowl... Perfection.   When I walked back into the living room, Walker was in a crouching tiger, hidden dragon position.  He had the "yizard" in his crosshairs.  I put my dish gloves on, I was ready for combat.  All of a sudden the house was LOUD... really loud... the noise was unbearable.  It sounded like a posse of 9 year old little girls in the midst of a spend the night party.  Then it hit me... the squealing was coming from me... all me.... (ahem -well, that's embarrassing).  I tried to compose myself... and concentrate on catching the varmint.  I moved a decorative suitcase, a footstool and WHAM!  BANG!  WHAM AGAIN!.... (thinking to myself- I GOT YOU NOW GIECO!)... I reached in, concentrating on the "tail" area and hoping it would not snap off... dramatic pause inserted here... I GOT HIM... I GOT HIM... EEEEEEE I GOT HIM!  Then I realized my bowl was not open... I had the wiggly lizard in one hand and a closed bowl in the other (note to self... your an idiot).   Ummm, "Walker I need your help- Can you open the bowl for mommy so you can keep the lizard?"  I gotta tell ya, the crocodile hunter would have been so proud.  Team Work Makes The Dream Work.
Good Night and Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite...

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