Today's topic snoring-
I think we have all been exposed to someone attempting to suck the ceiling down from the support beams while in a restless slumber. I also think it is also safe to say it is a miserable existence during the midnight hour for the "victim" of this unconscious crime.
Which brings me to my story...
Over the weekend I had prepared the "best sleeping" arrangements possible as I see it. I washed all of the blankets so they were all April Fresh compliments of Downey. The room was chilled to perfection. I grabbed my body pillow and wrapped around it. I placed the "it will have to do" feather pillow under my head *SEE Pillow for further details on how my NEW PILLOW will never be anything but second rate- a special "thank you and shout out to the CRIMINAL"
The night started off grand.. silent and so cozy. I drifted off in a peaceful slumber...
*cranks chainsaw here*... YEP- it appears at some point a lumberjack entered the room and he was busy at work sawing the trees down. I laid there and took it for a while with great patience- as the minutes ticked away.. I began to sigh loudly. No response. I flipped harshly back and forth attempting to hide my ears in the second rate pillow. No good. I jerked the covers in hopes it would jar the perpetrator. Nothing. I hit the bed with my "little hobbit hands" as the husband LOVINGLY calls them, ahem on the bed. No dice. I knew my mind was going to a dangerous, dark place as I cocked back my leg and prepared to kick the plum stew out of him. Something stopped me... call it a "feeling" but I sat up and then it hit me.
Could it be? NO WAY- HOW ON EARTH IS THAT POSSIBLE? It was the blankty, blank 10 pound dog sucking all the oxygen out of the room. That is the only explanation- you know, LACK of oxygen- because I was about to become the judge and jury on the big guy and send down the punishment. He was innocent.
Good news tho, I got over my guilt quickly enough.. HOW DARE HIM BE ABLE TO SLEEP THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE!