Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Oh Silent Night....

Today's topic snoring-
I think we have all been exposed to someone attempting to suck the ceiling down from the support beams while in a restless slumber.  I also think it is also safe to say it is a miserable existence during the midnight hour for the "victim" of this unconscious crime.

Which brings me to my story...
Over the weekend I had prepared the "best sleeping" arrangements possible as I see it.  I washed all  of the blankets so they were all April Fresh compliments of Downey.  The room was chilled to perfection.  I grabbed my body pillow and wrapped around it.  I placed the "it will have to do" feather pillow under my head  *SEE Pillow  for further details on how my NEW PILLOW will never be anything but second rate- a special "thank you and shout out to the CRIMINAL"

The night started off grand.. silent and so cozy.   I drifted off in a peaceful slumber...

*cranks chainsaw here*... YEP- it appears at some point a lumberjack entered the room and he was busy at work sawing the trees down.   I laid there and took it for a while with great patience- as the minutes ticked away.. I began to sigh loudly.  No response.  I flipped harshly back and forth attempting to hide my ears in the second rate pillow.  No good.   I jerked the covers in hopes it would jar the perpetrator.  Nothing.  I hit the bed with my "little hobbit hands" as the husband LOVINGLY calls them, ahem on the bed.  No dice.  I knew my mind was going to a dangerous, dark place as I cocked back my leg and prepared to kick the plum stew out of him.  Something stopped me... call it a "feeling" but I sat up and then it hit me.
Could it be?  NO WAY-  HOW ON EARTH IS THAT POSSIBLE?   It was the blankty, blank 10 pound dog sucking all the oxygen out of the room.  That is the only explanation- you know, LACK of oxygen- because I was about to become  the judge and jury on the big guy and send down the punishment.  He was innocent.

Good news tho, I got over my guilt quickly enough.. HOW DARE HIM BE ABLE TO SLEEP THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE!

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