Monday, January 3, 2011

When All Seems Lost

You know I think Mr. Gump was onto something... let me explain-
Last night, I piled up in the bed with a box Whitman's Chocolates... I knew the first of the year means to straighten up my eating habits that have turned all willy nilly over the past few months... so I thought I would eat all temptations in one sitting (I know- genius)... and while I was biting into each little piece of chocolate it hit me like a TON of bricks.  Mr. Gump was correct in listening to his momma.  Life is like a box of chocolates and unfortunately most of the little pieces SUCK.   Bad attitude?  Perhaps...but I am working on it... see below

I sent a post out on New Year's stating I was shutting my blog down-  I have received A LOT of emails as to why.... Well, I have thought long and hard about this.  This is a personal topic, I would normally not share.  Cade has encouraged me to talk to my friends.  I was somewhat reluctant to do this... I still am.  In all fairness there are two sides to every story.  Talking would perpetuate a problem or make him seem like some rabid animal chewing out my heart- which he is NOT.  So I have decided to return to what I have always done at one point or another in my life and that is to write it down.  It is therapy.  I made a huge error in judgement shutting it out.  If something brings you joy, you should never feel you don't deserve it.  So let me explain-

My marriage, like all marriages has had its ups and downs. I will not get into details.. but I can tell you this- never hide from your problems... it makes everything worse. That said- There comes a point and time when someone has to quit sweeping the issues under the carpet and make waves.  I have made waves and for over a week, I had a large hole in my lifesaving device. So....  We have argued, I have cried and we have made knew vows to each other in an attempt to correct the error of our ways.  As I pull up my big girl panties to move forward and not be a quitter... I am thankful for this outlet. May the post be funny or true life.  I need to write.  I need to document.. I need the therapy.
So thanks for reading- and I wish us all happiness and contentment.  It's important.  Being a parent doesn't mean giving up yourself.  It doesn't mean you live with regrets or the feeling you owe someone for your life.  Being a stay at home mom doesn't make you less important  - If anything- It makes you a hero to the little people in your lives.

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