Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Mystical Unicorns

So no longer fearing that I will tarnish the imagine that I live with shiny, mystical unicorns that enjoy tap dancing to the song "On The Goodship Lollipop" down the yellow brick road, in hopes of finding the brilliantly colored rainbow so they can frolic in the pot of gold... I gotta tell ya-

During the summer months, when the kids are home, most days are stress free.  Why?  Well, we have the luxury of a pee free,private pool in our backyard.  When things get a little "iffy", I soak everyone down in spf 50 and truck on out the back door.  We get some exercise, we soak in the sun and enjoy the afternoon with the grand finale-....wait for it...... Popsicles.  Oh yea, it is a huge deal.

Unfortunately, during the winter months, when the kids are home for over two weeks... this is NOT the case.  It is cold and/or wet.  We are all couped up for the most part and tempers flare.   Let me go ahead and debunk the myth that Cage Fighting is basically a Vegas attraction.   My house, located in Smalltown, Alabama is now an elaborate arena - or cage.   We have encounter the following but not limited too altercations-
A fist "accidentally" landed in someone's face
A foot was in the "way" and tripped someone
A cry because someone was laughing at the other one
A fit because someone didn't throw the game and let the other person win "again"
Accusations that someone hurt someone's feelings
Hair pulling
Running from across the room and jumping on an innocent person...
and so on and so on and so on!
Our little guinea pig, Porkchop is indeed a "slut animal".  We know this because one morning we found two additional little (adorable) fur balls in her condo.  I witnessed the husband, squatting down in front of the said "slut animal's" house, while bobbing and weaving his head to ask her "Who Your Baby Daddy?".  ahem.......  We have had several serious issues to address that would shake even the strongest of foundations.   Toss in a couple major holidays and overeating during the past weeks.... and YES, What I have described is...
SEASON ONE- JERRY SPRINGER.   Am I embarrassed?  Well, Yea!  Fresh out of Unicorns.

As each day comes to an end, we have what you might call a routine, or structure.... or Rut we all follow.  Let me give you the highlights-
Mackenzie, being the loving child she is, gives out her sweet hugs and I love you's to everyone including the tiny terror that has made her life miserable that day.  She heads on up the stairs to her room to soak in a little quiet.  I allow her to watch an hour or two of Disney Channel and/or read a book each night.   I feel she needs this.  Now, Kenzie  with being the smart cookie that she is and housing so much Moxy in a little person's body, I feel it is safe to say she is also building a battle plan for the upcoming combat she will surely face with her brother when the sun comes up.  Safe Bet!

Now, when it comes to Walker- it is the same script.
Me- " Walker, here is your binkie (brushing the hair off his brow), let's get you all snuggie in this bed"
Walker- ( HUGE, innocent eyes looking up) "I yoves you, mommy.... I will sees ya in the morning..... good nights.... I will miss you- so, so, so much"
Me- "You know I love you to the moon and back... and that is a long, long way.  I will be here when you wake up sweet angel"
You would think that would be the grand finale of the day - but nope, the chatter then begins.  We have to discuss what he liked and didn't like during the day.   He tells me he is soooo "Haun-gree".  I tell him "no" at first, but always give in since he is a whopping 32 lbs and I can not stand the thought of him actually being hungry.  After an hour of I need water, I gotta go potty, and chilling conversation.. he falls a sleep.
EXCEPT-  one night this past weekend he tossed me a curve ball.  Call it children's intuition... but he knew what I needed..
Me- "Walker here is your binkie,  let me get you all snuggie in this bed."
Walker-(Same beautiful eyes looking up) "Mommy, I yoves you to the moon and back and you say that is a big, big way"
Me- (leaning in to kiss his forehead) " Walker, I  do love you to the moon and back and it is a big, big way!  I think you are so awesome"
Walker- " I think you are awesome too mommy"
and he rolls over.  What no chit chat?  No food request?  Just peace... PEACE!
Welcome back shiny, mystical unicorns... I MISSED YOU!

Time Lapse 15/20 minutes...
Mackenzie enters the room.."Mommy my stomach hurts"   and POOF!  Damn Unicorns are GONE!

Have a great day! :)

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