PayPal-

So I have not had a Paypal account in years.. and a month or so ago I was browsing the internet shops and found that an account of this type might be useful.  I love Etsy and other little personal owned boutiques.  Most are scrapbook related that I browse and some have amazing deals on designer products- 75% percent off amazing deals!  mmmhmmm you darn tootin' - hard to pass up!
So after adding to cart a few items on clearance and proceeding to go to checkout- I found my only option of payment was "PAYPAL"- well, guess I need to set one up and link it to the checking account- you know six of one/ half a dozen of the other type deal.  NO BIGGIE.... ahem

So I did.  I entered the account number and scanned in a marriage certificate to change the name on the OLD /UNUSED account that was once out there.  Changed addressed and hopped through all the hoops.

Then I went back to my "little gem of scrapbooking happiness store" and proceeded to add stuff back to cart and check out.  WOOHOO- HAPPY MAIL IS A COMMIN' SOON!  Confirmation email received- ROCK ON SCRAPBOOKING FRIENDS- ROCK ON!

Fast forward  about 4 days.  I get an email from PAYPAL- saying my account number is not valid.  HMMM- not valid you say?- trying a fast one you say?  I disagree- but I will delete and add it back.  So I did.
Wondering if it worked- I decided the only way to know for sure was to test it.. so sadly *sarcasm* I shopped some more, added to cart and clicked on Paypal.  I get another confirmed email- and then to keep an extremely long story somewhat short- 4 days later- a reject notice..

GRRRRRRRR!

One evening around diner time I shared the experience with my NOTECHNICALPROBLEMICAN'TFIX  husband.  So he decided to tinker with the account himself... * at this point and time I would LIKE to point out he did the same exact exercise I had done previously- guess that makes me smart too*  Any who- he attached a back up plan to my account so the orders would go through IF all else failed- okay,  that was nice!

Fast Forward again- a few weeks later....

Another attempt- another failure being blamed on my bank, but never fear they dinged the back up plan. The husband decided to call them on my behalf- he had come to the conclusion that since the bank account was already attached to his Paypal account they must have a glitch in their system.  ummmmm OKAY- sounds good- call them ( inner thoughts- I feel sorry for whoever answers the phone and attempts to argue with him about a technical problem in banking no-less, that is his forte)

This is really long- so sorry-

We called- I talked to the girl and told her the husband had my permission to make whatever changes they needed to make to correct the problem because I have a little person that needed to go to bed.
They are on the phone for over an hour-   at times I hear his voice jump up in sheer desperation and I know the "agent" is not listening to what he is telling her.  She is treating him like a user error moron. (shew- poor lady, she is not too bright)... She keeps telling him they do NOT have glitches in their system.  Their system is infallible * she is going to eat those words*
So after he completed some minor trouble shooting to prove his theory and before he handed me back the phone she admitted- they do have a problem, they are NOT infallible and she would be happy to confirm the account if I could just answer a couple of questions..

It is about to get SKETCHY... I am about to prove the not so bright theory by accident!

Here are the questions she chose to ask me-
1. Dad's name inserted here- how old is he?
My response- he is dead
2. Dad's name inserted here again- how old is he?
My response- he is still dead- *crap on a cracker- what is wrong with her?*
3. Dad's name inserted here AGAIN!  how old is he? ( doorknobs have more intelligence)
My response- Do you think you continue to age when you die?  Does the record or whatever you are looking at not say "DEAD".. He is dead!
4. When was the house on blah blah blah built?
My response- I am going to say 90- I don't live there anymore but I did around 92 or so.. and it was standing when I bought it.
 * I passed this one clearly because she moved on to another one- oh goody*
5. What county is the said house located in- and she listed options-
My response- Jefferson- I passed again
6. What month was INSERT EX-HUSBANDS NAME HERE born?
My Response Unedited " you know what - that is my ex-husband! You have asked about my dead dad and ex husband in less than five minutes- This is BS (said it) - I am not transferring large amounts- you will NEVER see an amount over 100 bucks-  my transactions are and would remain around 20$ or 30 dollars.  My husband has been on the phone with you for an  hour- you know he handed me the friggin' phone- CANCEL THE ACCOUNT there is no store on earth worth this .........
I set the phone down and walked off- the husband picked it up as is she said "I am gonna go ahead and confirm this for you"....
SIGH
As you know, I always like to have a lesson when life tosses me a challenge- SO-What have I learned- Nothing- I have learned NOTHING-  I smoked a bunch- but didn't learn a stinkin' thing.  On second thought... perhaps I did- PayPal- That word is an oxymoron- What A "Fine Mess"!  I wonder if she was a "little pregnant" while she was digging up "forgotten memories".  Oh I digress...

Shame Shame

I don't know if it is because I have too much time on my hands (sarcasm), since all my children want to do after school is sit on the couch and read books (a lie - wrapped in extreme sarcasm) but I have found myself doing a little research.  Got to keep using that ol' noggin before it turns to total mush.   What has peaked my curiosity, you ask?   I wanted to know who decided which words are curse words,  so I googled it.  

Here are the findings:

After picking apart Wikipedia and other forums- it is pretty obvious that NO one really knows. Educated guesses are the best I could find- and there is really no need to get into the he said she said.  We do know the oldest traces of human writings include "offensive" words- 

So after spending an excessive amount of time reading "because your mom said so"... I have made my own decision on this topic:

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"

Good Day Folks-

Mommy Said- 2013

Last night I was reading over some old post, feeling a little emotional since Walker was turning 6.  I laughed and felt my heart tug at what was our daily lives with a 3 year old.  While some things change- others remain the same-  This is Classic Walker-  He does NOT miss a thing...


So I keep thinking back to something that happened a few weeks ago and get tickled every time.  It was a Sunday afternoon and everyone had pretty much assumed our normal, lazy positions.  Cade was snoring on the couch, Mackenzie was laying over on the loveseat messing with her IPod & apparently getting her panties out of a literal wad , I was searching my favorite blogs for coupon deals and Walker was enjoying yet another edge of your seat viewing of Spy Kids... - OR so we thought... Here is the conversation:

Walker- Kenzie
Kenz-  implementing the classic "ignore" him move... ( impressive how well she has mastered this skill)
Walker- KENZIE!  - louder- much LOUDER
Kenz- What Walker?
Walker- You gotta pee pee?
Kenz- NO Walker
Walker- You touchin your hinney
Kenz- I am not Walker
Walker-uh huh.. Mommy said if you touch your hinney, you gotta go pee pee...
Kenz-I am not touching my hinney, WALKER
Walker- I sawed you and if you pee pee in your pants you are gonna be in twouble (voice of experience talking right there... he is sharing his knowledge)
Kenz- UGHHHH.... and stomps off. (I couldn't see her face, but I would bet my bottom dollar her eyes were rolling)
Walker- Mommy she had to go pee pee...
Mommy- Thank you for handling this for me Walker

The Tortoise and The Den

Our den is eclectic...once upon a time I actually had the infamous "Dogs Playing Poker" above the mantle.   Because I could... so Why not? We house an aquarium, an air hockey table, and furniture that Cade has owned longer than he has had me.  It is a comfortable room for all of us.  We make pallets and pop popcorn for family movies on rainy weekends.  We fight out our aggression in Wii battles.  It is truly a family room. 

This past weekend, Cade was looking at the old sofa while the kids were tackling each other on top of it.  He pointed out that the leather is threadbare in spots, it has been patched more than once, and over all the entire suit is tattered.  I listened to what he had to say and then pointed to the children that were acting as if they have not had all their shots- WAS that FOAM coming out of Walker's mouth?   I told him I agree 100% but and this is a big BUT- I can not see the point in replacing it at this time.  The kids live in this room and it will drive me batty trying to keep the following from happening:

1. Shoes off of it

2. Food off of it

3. Markers off of it

4.THE KIDS OFF OF IT

I told him to just wait about "oh TEN or Fifteen years should be safe" and then we can make a day of it and  shop till we drop, finding the perfect set.  The kids will be a lot older.  Walker will be driving and Mackenzie will be gone to college. I can look forward to being engulfed by brand new leather- that is soft as butter as I hold my sweet, baby boy- Atticus (dog) and read a book.

Cade looked at me for the longest time and I could not figure out what he was thinking... a few minutes passed and then he said "You know Atticus might not be alive in 10 or so years?"  GASP-  

I had to argue this point and tell him- he would be!  

He walked into the kitchen and with his back turned to me he said " I am going to have to treat this situation like people do TURTLES-  sneak another one in here before you know what happened"...

There are NO words-

Oh Silent Night....

Today's topic snoring-
I think we have all been exposed to someone attempting to suck the ceiling down from the support beams while in a restless slumber.  I also think it is also safe to say it is a miserable existence during the midnight hour for the "victim" of this unconscious crime.

Which brings me to my story...
Over the weekend I had prepared the "best sleeping" arrangements possible as I see it.  I washed all  of the blankets so they were all April Fresh compliments of Downey.  The room was chilled to perfection.  I grabbed my body pillow and wrapped around it.  I placed the "it will have to do" feather pillow under my head  *SEE Pillow  for further details on how my NEW PILLOW will never be anything but second rate- a special "thank you and shout out to the CRIMINAL"

The night started off grand.. silent and so cozy.   I drifted off in a peaceful slumber...

*cranks chainsaw here*... YEP- it appears at some point a lumberjack entered the room and he was busy at work sawing the trees down.   I laid there and took it for a while with great patience- as the minutes ticked away.. I began to sigh loudly.  No response.  I flipped harshly back and forth attempting to hide my ears in the second rate pillow.  No good.   I jerked the covers in hopes it would jar the perpetrator.  Nothing.  I hit the bed with my "little hobbit hands" as the husband LOVINGLY calls them, ahem on the bed.  No dice.  I knew my mind was going to a dangerous, dark place as I cocked back my leg and prepared to kick the plum stew out of him.  Something stopped me... call it a "feeling" but I sat up and then it hit me.
Could it be?  NO WAY-  HOW ON EARTH IS THAT POSSIBLE?   It was the blankty, blank 10 pound dog sucking all the oxygen out of the room.  That is the only explanation- you know, LACK of oxygen- because I was about to become  the judge and jury on the big guy and send down the punishment.  He was innocent.

Good news tho, I got over my guilt quickly enough.. HOW DARE HIM BE ABLE TO SLEEP THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE!

The Retraction

So if you are a regular reader you know about our latest issue of springing a leak... that then turned into a gully washer.  When I left you last the husband was contemplating the best course of action to take because the main water line breaks out into a T into the lower bathroom and blah blah blah blah it will require cutting a hole in the ceiling. He needed to compile his list in his head for the NO WAY AROUND IT, home improvement store trip.   I knew his patience were running thin so I excused myself to the upper level to prepare for bed minus the use of running water.  

Lapse time- approximately 2 hours or so...

Atticus was a sleep at my feet and I was reading a book.  All of a sudden I hear SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH- Atticus jumps up and barks.  YES- he was cutting a hole in the ceiling.  He gave in- and proceeded to cut.

Lapse Time- 7:00AM


He gets up- and heads to the Depot.  I then see the actual hole he has cut and it is quite small.. very small.. So innocently I ask "WILL your hand fit in that?- I don't think my hand will fit in that"
Clearly- I was not helping by the look of disgust that was flashed my way.  He explained he had decided to keep the hole a modest size so he could then put a light fixture there...
I freely admit that was a pretty good idea- but you have to be able to work on the pipe- hence the hole there to begin with..

Time lapse- 1 hour

The hole is now bigger- and the pipe has been cut and the new one is being measured to fit in its place.  Too Long- cut some more.
He then places his smart mouth wife on the other side of the ladder to hold the old pipe that is pressing on the new pipe and WA-LA-  Teamwork makes the dream work.

He got it!  I am proud of my "Plunger".  He did not give up and he figured it out.  For the most part he kept his cool and he requested that I do something for him in return- He wanted a retraction on my blog.

So here goes-

Dear People that read my nonsense,
I would like to report that my husband is now an efficient plumber or plunger depending on if you are five or not.  He saved our family a large amount of money by not giving up.  He did not get mad at my sassy mouth- very much...   He once again proved that he can fix anything given time.
The groveling wife


THERE!

When It Rains... It Pours!

Murphy's law- Anything that can go wrong will go wrong!

Welcome to my world.  Life is usually one gigantic debacle after another around here- So to keep from sitting in a corner and banging my head- I must laugh!  Today is a perfect example - allow me to share:

The kids were out of school for MLK and the sun was shining. I took them to grab a bite and tootle around town.  We were only gone for a few hours.  The husband was off work and had made it back home from taking his dad to the doctor.  He brought home a 4 pack of yummy cupcakes and then joined the children outside to play basketball.  I thought I would take the time, while it was quiet and clip a few coupons and search the ads.
 Fast forward 15 minutes
The husband comes into the den and looks a bit pale.  He said "come down here and look at this"- so I figure it is worth a looksy and follow suit.  He points out a puddle on the floor and traces the source.  Our main water line!  Oh GOODY!  We have three sources to call- NO ONE CAN COME or they want to stick it to us for holiday pay.  Of course they do.
He turns off the water to the house and I express to the children my concern over how filthy they have become playing outside.  Tonight there will be no shower. Tomorrow is school.  Crap- bottle water bath it is!

I figured we were done until the sun comes up tomorrow so I came back upstairs and started my coupon list again.  Do you see my error there?  I left the husband alone with a plumbing issue that would require him to pull out power tools- and I knew darn good and well- he would NOT be able to resist!  I feel I am 50% accountable for the remainder of this story...

I hear the drill... I ignore the drill.

I continue to hear the drill- I walk downstairs.. "Watcha doin?"... his response- "I figure a plumber will have to make this hole bigger so I am saving on labor"... mmhmmmm

I go back up to continue my clipping-  10 minutes later the door that leads to the basement flings open wildly and it is our five year old- he screams "IT IS RAINING DOWNSTAIRS, Daddy was trying to be a PLUNGER" and then I hear it-  the roar of water hitting the floor.

Now- I could say I was calm when walked to the bathroom and grabbed towels.. but what really happened is I was cussing like a sailor in my head and running like a rabid animal to retrieve any fabric that might soak up water!

When I hit the bottom of the steps and saw my soaking wet husband- I froze.  His comment "I brought you cupcakes"...

to be continued... after he makes on average TWO trips to the home improvement store ;)